“I had become so hurt by the evil ways of man… that I developed a philosophy of mistrust and I couldn’t establish or stay in a good relationship.�

Rita’s “Faith Story�
May 2007

I was raised in a religion that I found personally to be mystical and with many rituals. As a result, I was always confused about God and his Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I remember at the age of six going to the church with my family, and when I saw a statue of Jesus on the cross I yelled out as loud as I could: “I see the church but where is God?� Needless to say, I embarrassed my parents by having this outburst in the church and my older siblings roared in laughter. Thank goodness we arrived early, and besides a woman praying in the pew, we were the only ones present.

At 15 much to my mother’s disappointment I rebelled and stopped going to church. I drifted from church to church, knowing that I needed something more, but I just didn’t know to what that something was. My mother prayed for me daily and told me to pray for direction in life, and for my problems, but I just did not understand what she was trying to convey to me.

But what I do know is that the consequences for not knowing God were many. For example, I was a selfish individual. I felt misunderstood and unloved by my parents because they didn’t give me what I thought I deserved, so I turned to the love of others who would hurt me so deeply that I did not know what true love was. As a matter of fact, I had become so hurt by the evil ways of man in this world that I developed a philosophy of mistrust and I couldn’t establish or stay in a good relationship. I can now honestly say that from my teen years until age 47 I was drifting, not understanding the love of God. For over 32 years, I wasn’t truly loving my fellow man or loving myself.

But then one day I started thinking about my trials and tribulations and trying to understand why I felt so lonely, unloved and misunderstood. All of a sudden a voice within said to me: “I love you. Not only do I love you, but I have been with you in all your peaks and your valleys. I love you. I know you and I fully understand you. You are not alone. Do you know me?�

My heart opened up and I began to cry tears of joy. At that moment I felt the love of God and the presence of His Son Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit. It was at the moment I finally realized where God was. I was no longer confused about why Jesus died on the cross. I realized that God’s grace and the love of Jesus Christ had been keeping me and protecting me. And with this love my heart has opened up to fully loving myself and my fellow man.

Proverbs 3.5,6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on to your own understanding, in all you ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. “

1 John 5.5-12 says: “God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.�

I want to thank God for all He has given to me in Jesus Christ. I have such joy because of His love. I also want to pray for others that are lost, that they to come to know God and the grace He gives.